Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Mitchel killed down to Mitch...
Life has been a little hazy lately. Confused with my adolescents and insecurities I find myself constantly just staring into the skies and asking the age old cliche question, "why?" Why have I been put on this earth? Why don't my teeth align straight? Why was I made the way I was made? Why aren't I ever satisfied? Why am I so selfish? Why can't I be happy? So much is tossing and turning in my mind that I cant even come to the senses to even write what I want to on here. I know I haven't been blogging lately and really regret it. I feel that when I posted regularly it was easier to keep a strong walk with God and that I was given accountability with whom ever my thoughts reach out to. Now its just blah. Stripped away to nothing more then a question. Why is it so hard to find your spiritual gifts? I know there's a billion of books out there that all "propose" that they can tell you your gifts but I just cant stay tracking with them. And I know what your all thinking. Your all saying "Mitch, your still young don't worry about these things. In time you will find out, maybe when your older." But why has God places a blazing fire into my heart at this day and age if he wants me to find out things later. ahh. I cant even type. You all probably cant even understand what I'm saying. That's ok. This is more for my sake anyway. What I'm trying to really say is that lately I just don't get it. I don't get God right now. You know me and the big guy usually connect but not right now. Its as if when he's talking to me it gets lost in translation, like IM either hearing it wrong or not at all. Life's gonna be slow for a while, real slow unless I smarten up. I need to be broken. stripped. Mitchel is killed down to Mitch.
# posted by Mitch @ 10:22 PM 
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I completely understand. I was totally on track with God, and I don't even know what that means. I would talk to him and I realy felt like he was there, listening to me. The next morning, it was like he packed up and left. I couldnt "feel" anything coming from him. I dont know if its just cuz its november, but im having a hard time staying happy as well. I dont know what to tell you. Just keep truckin, praying.I'll pray for you too.
thanks a lot. a know its going to be fine and all but when i wrote this i just wasnt tacking properly
I don't think we would appreciate the mountains if we didn't have the valleys. Does that make any sense? Does to me.
this walk is not about what you feel. its what promises you stand on in His Word. its volitional faith. choices. maybe He hasn't moved but is silent and wants you to be silent too. you said broken and stripped. i guaruntee you are on the right track. being confused is okay too. God is gracious enough knowing we don't get it right all the time or "feel" like it or "feel" Him. keep given'r dude. He is faithful. nobody's has "lost" anything here. so things are slow. maybe your faith walk has to slow down for a spell. maybe God is preparing you for something else ahead and this is the quiet time or down time. or as you say the "broken" time. blessings!
hey, i've been down on myself lately. to the point where I wasn't calling people back. I held my phone and paced, but didn't call.
i don't even know what to blog about right now either. i'm in a quiet place i guess. something I don't really enjoy.
I made a step today though to help get out again. its a start. it always seems like I am starting over again in my growth. I can't give up on myself though.
i don't even know what to blog about right now either. i'm in a quiet place i guess. something I don't really enjoy.
I made a step today though to help get out again. its a start. it always seems like I am starting over again in my growth. I can't give up on myself though.
Maybe it's the curse of the Mitch Allen's ;) Fifteen has got to be one of the most confusing times for a teenager. People used to make fun of me when I was seventeen, because I thought I had life all figured out.
War, tsunami's, hurricanes, bombings, 9/11. One thing you definately don't want to do when you are in a blue mood is watch the news! Rent a comedy on Netflix instead. When I was a teen, we all woke up one day and realized someone was pointing nukes at our country. I think at your age mortality and existential issues start to kick in. Thinking about it can melt your brain.
It gets better! I had braces in my 30's. Next thing I knew, all my friends were getting them. It's never to late to align those teeth!
The Other Mitch Allen
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War, tsunami's, hurricanes, bombings, 9/11. One thing you definately don't want to do when you are in a blue mood is watch the news! Rent a comedy on Netflix instead. When I was a teen, we all woke up one day and realized someone was pointing nukes at our country. I think at your age mortality and existential issues start to kick in. Thinking about it can melt your brain.
It gets better! I had braces in my 30's. Next thing I knew, all my friends were getting them. It's never to late to align those teeth!
The Other Mitch Allen
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